News & Articles Published in the Moultrie, GA OBSERVER...
Below: Fr. Wilde presents 300 of his Bible Promises for Champions to Fellowship of Christian
Athletes director, Larry Poole, who gives them to members of Colquitt County High School sports teams.
MEN, Can We Get Together? by Fr. Gary Wilde
We pulled our canoes onto the beach of a little island in the middle of central Florida’s St. John’s River. Dale, Calvin, Steve,and I — four young men on a weekend adventure, all members of the same church. We spent the rest of the day setting up our camp, looking for dry wood, and generally scouting around the place until evening … when we stumbled upon something scary.
I was the one to find it, a huge skinned alligator, laying in the midst of a crop of tall palmetto bushes. The eyes were still in the gator’s head, it had its tail and claws, but the rest of its body had been mutilated into a massive strip of slick, gray strands of flesh. It lay there rotting in the hot sun, the flies buzzing.
With a lump in my throat, I ran back and told everyone, and after we’d all surveyed the scene we crept back to our camp, each silently wondering: Are there really knife-toting outlaws out here? Where are they now? And exactly how far are we from civilization, anyway?
It got dark too soon. We sat mostly silent around the campfire, but later, as we lay together in the tent — our flimsy canvas shelter against ruthless poachers — we began to talk. I can’t remember much of the conversation, but I know I began to feel closer to those guys than I ever had before. Partly it was the fear of what dangers might be lurking outside our tent; we’d need each other for protection. But the experience of the alligator itself brought us together, too. We had found it; we alone knew what it had looked like; we had all been shocked by it; and we had a story to tell that no one else would ever experience firsthand.
Long ago, Mary Magdalene found something astonishing after the crucifixion, and ran back with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” Jesus soon appeared to the disciples, and the Scripture says they were overjoyed when they saw the Lord. The apostle John eventually put it like this: “We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete.” (1 John 1:3-4).
The bottom line: When Christian men speak of “bonding,” they can really mean only one thing. That they have each experienced Jesus, and that He is what forms their fellowship. That is a bond much stronger than mere friendship. It is an unbreakable spiritual unity, and it often begins to form in small groups.
But is that for me?
I think about the men I know who wouldn’t even consider coming to a small group. But I know they’ve had some of those “gator experiences” of camaraderie, of bonding, with other guys. And I’m tempted to believe that just being together like that — working or playing or accomplishing some goal — has at least something to do with fellowship. That it is at least a kind of starting point.
I love the way Bible scholar William Barclay makes the connection between our experience of the Lord and the true basis of our “bonding”:
The disciples found others who had already shared their experience. It is the glory of the Christian that he lives in a fellowship of people who have had the same experience as he has had. It has been said that true friendship begins only when people share a common memory and can say to each other, “Do you remember?” Each of us is one of a great fellowship of people who share a common experience and a common memory of their Lord.
At least the women like it
One of the great things about husbands being in a men’s group is that their wives tend to love it. “I’ve seen my husband grow in so many ways,” says Karen. “For one thing, he’s willing to be more realistic with me about both his strengths and the areas in which he’d like to improve as a man and a husband.” So it’s not uncommon for wives to encourage their men to attend a group.
Now, back to that camping trip. Though activities like that don’t guarantee solid relationships, men seem to need them more than women in order to form friendships. In his book “Uneasy Manhood,” Robert Hicks quotes Harvard researcher Carol Gilligan: “Women view closeness in positive ways; men view it as a threat. On the other hand, women view social distance as abandonment, but men view it as safety.” For most men, therefore, coming together in a small group can, at first, be a bit daunting. Until those men begin to feel the pure joy of it. That is when getting together to laugh, to speak of our lives, to pray, to read Scripture is a totally transforming experience.
Here in Moultrie something wonderful is happening among our men. There are already 11 Promise Keepers men’s groups going, mostly for an hour at lunch time, in various locations, once a week. And a new group is starting — it will meet each Thursday, for an hour at noontime. Any man, of any church denomination, is invited. Could this be your group? For more information, call 890-2110.
***********************************Published January 10, 2008 11:26 pm
When you’ve failed to meet expectations
Fr. Gary Wilde
Encountering success at every turn sounds like a prescription for perfect happiness, right? How about that for a New Year’s resolution: Nothing but success for the year ahead! Let’s think about it …- Encountering success at every turn sounds like a prescription for perfect happiness, right? How about that for a New Year’s resolution: Nothing but success for the year ahead! Let’s think about it …
Very early in his life, my friend Jean knew what he wanted to be. With parents who were professional musicians, he had many advantages helping him develop quickly into a fine violinist. The problem, however, was this: He was also developing a view of life that suggested things would always fall into place for him. At the moment, his parents were thrilled at his success, and he was thrilled at their approval.
Then came the day when things didn’t turn out like Jean, or they, wanted. It was the violin competition in his hometown, where he was returning after two years of music conservatory schooling. He played his heart out, swaying with the intricate rhythms of a Bach two-part invention. His bowing was precise, his tuning right on pitch, and his passion flowed through the instrument.
Yet, when the results were announced, he wasn’t even mentioned among the also-rans.
“My mother was seated next to me,” Jean told me, recalling that day years ago. “And I can still remember her comment: ‘The judging wasn’t fair!’ She yelled it loud enough to be heard by the other competitors and their families. Everybody looked up with shock in their eyes. I was disappointed not to be a prize winner but also embarrassed at Mom’s outburst. I felt I really let her down.”
It’s still about the folks
They say that no matter how old we are, we still want our parents’ approval. Have you noticed that desire in yourself? Even if your parents are long gone from this earth — or even if you hardly ever knew them at all — isn’t it true that you still harbor a deep and abiding yearning to hear their words of approval?
It’s curious, then, that when Jesus lands in a situation perfectly suited for the bubbling forth of this innate longing, we see Him — even as a 12-year-old boy — looking to another source for approval. In the Bible, we jump pretty quickly from Jesus in the manger to Jesus the adolescent. It seems he had gone to the big city, downtown Jerusalem, with the family. But when the parents packed up their things and headed home, in the company of many relatives, they noticed something important the next day — they’d forgotten to pack their son with them!
I suppose most parents today would run back and start looking through the stores in the mall, perhaps heading to the video-game area or the movie theater. But with Jesus, it would have to be the Temple. He was a very religious young lad …
They found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.” — Luke 2:46-48
This Scripture passage amazes me. How can it be that the one event conveyed from Jesus’ early childhood is the moment of His failure to meet parental expectations? And what does this say to you and me?
At the very least it must mean that pleasing our parents, or any human being, really can’t be the ultimate goal of our lives. Jesus’ response says, in effect, that there are things more important than approval on this earth — what we call success. There is such a thing as the approval of Heaven. That is the important thing to seek. And it may sometimes look like failure, at least for a while.
That’s why, if we ask, “Was Jesus successful?” it’s not immediately apparent how to answer …
He didn’t write any bestsellers.
He never won a military victory.
He couldn’t be voted into political office.
He produced no great works of art.
He created no history-changing inventions.
Yet we know He lived with complete integrity. He always expressed the appropriate emotion. He never did or said anything that He could possibly regret. How’s that for successful living? Furthermore, He fully accomplished the cosmos-altering mission that His heavenly Father had set for him: to save the world from sin. In doing so — which also involved an aspect of judgment — He thoroughly disappointed countless critics. (He still fails to meet their expectations.)
So what’s your failure quotient?
Whose expectations are you meeting — or not — these days? And how much does it matter to you? In the midst of seeking approval, a natural human tendency, emulating the way of Jesus means adding a quality to our lives that pushes against popular opinion, mitigates against conformity, and often compels confrontation with the forces of society. Are we ready for all of that?
In hindsight, Jean thinks that day of the music competition was absolutely crucial to his personal growth. Why? Because he had to start coming to terms, as a grown-up, with failure and disappointment. He also had to sift out his priorities and his responses to the bumps and bruises of life.
“My mother envisioned nothing but a smooth road to the top for me,” says Jean. “Yet I was no longer able to view my experience as a smooth ascent. In fact, maybe there were lessons along the way, in the dark places, that were part of what I needed to learn.”
From that point on, Jean started developing his own perspective on success. For any of us, that kind of growth, in itself, is a wonderfully effective foil to failure.
*****************************************************Published December 06, 2007 09:58 pm -
Heavenly contact — surprising or subtle?
Fr. Gary Wilde
Imagine being there when the angel of the Lord comes to announce the future. It happened to Mary, a young girl who was just staying at home, going about her day. Then everything changed. Angel Gabriel walked in with some news: She was to be the mother of Jesus, the Son of God.
Sometimes I long for such direct connection with heaven. What would it be like to actually see, to really know: This is God at work without a doubt. What could be better?
Rarely do we get a bonfire sermon, though, blazing direct from the gates of glory. Rather, I’ve found, often God’s guidance emerges in our inner thoughts, the still, small voice within us. It is a sound that can’t quite be explained with our rational minds. Yet it is a sense of “rightness” when we have made a decision, a quality of conviction when we have sought the truth, a recognition that something “feels like it fits,” though we can’t prove it.
This gentle undertone may carry emotions with it, but ultimately it supersedes emotion. For me, it is an internal suggestion, a veiled hint that comes through people, events, books, or art. And God compounds the message in various ways.
So, if we are blessed to enjoy some “alone time” during these weeks of Advent, we may find ourselves contemplating questions like these: What does it mean for me that now, through Christ’s coming, God is always close? How might I expect to encounter Him when I approach in prayer?
I think of an Old Testament counterpart, another person who experienced direct divine contact, namely, Elijah. In his case, “The Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper” (1 Kings 19:12).
What is the key to hearing the divine whisper? For one thing, we could experiment with our prayer lives a bit. We might try just being with God for a quarter of an hour, waiting in silence. We can learn sacred listening, calmly attending to Scripture and our circumstances for the words of wisdom they whisper.
And the Advent season is a great time for this kind of experiment. The new church year began as the sun set on Saturday, Dec. 1, and the First Sunday of Advent arrived. “Advent” means “coming,” and historical records suggest that it emerged clearly in the church in the 6th century, though there are echoes of it in earlier centuries. It comprises the four weeks of Sundays before the celebration of the Nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ. It’s a season of preparation to celebrate Christmas, and churches that observe the season do it with some sobriety. They omit “Alleluia” and “Gloria” in the liturgy and wait for Christmas Day to fully decorate the nave, choir, and sancturary.
The point is, here we’re given a built-in yearly pause for prayerful and hopeful anticipation before the heavenly throne. This kind of “active waiting” — especially if we can fill some of its spaces with silence — can do much for one’s soul. We can expect holy contact, often surprising, mostly subtle.
I’m simply saying: If you and I are able to carve out a little solitude during this often hectic season, we’ll no doubt begin to name the things that seem to be saying Yes and No to us. And we’ll remain open to the possibility that within them is the Lord’s voice. May we then respond as young Mary did:
“I am the Lord’s servant,” she answered. “May it be to me as you have said” (Luke 1:38).
*****************************************************Published October 18, 2007 11:07 pm -
Contentment … or 'life engineering'?
Fr. Gary Wilde
Not too long ago, I went to my mailbox and pulled out one of those chain letters that promise a load of cash flowing my way … if only I’ll send my name on to the next person in line (along with a ten-dollar bill). The purely rational side of me knows that those letters are scams, but they still appeal to another part of me that hopes to suddenly latch onto a sure thing.
I call this compulsive desire my Ralph Cramden Complex. For example, when I was in the business world, I was secretly on the lookout for the “big win,” the idea or the plan that would earn me a quick buck — maybe even a small fortune. Poor Ralph kept trying, but his little schemes always backfired. It only took him a half hour of “The Honeymooners” TV show each week to realize that he couldn’t force things to turn out exactly the way he wanted them to be. Always, at the end of the show, he had to admit that his attempts to engineer his future only served to make him look rather foolish.
It’s the same with me. On the one hand, I am constantly hit with new schemes and temptations that pull at me to take control of my life, to work everything out the way I want it to be. There is no end of voices telling me that I can run my own life if I’ll just sign on the dotted line and send in a little deposit up front.
Yet another voice is calling out to me too. It is the voice of the Holy Spirit who lives within me, telling me that I can rest in the hands of One who guarantees no security in this life, because He has a home waiting for me that is not of this world. He tells me I must not become too attached to the imperfect here and now, lest I lose sight of the perfect future He has in store for me.
So He calls me to learn contentment.
It’s a tough call, isn’t it? The first approach requires “life engineering” — trying to force events to be the way I want them to be (with absolutely no guarantee against constant frustration). The second approach calls me to a more trusting openness to life’s way of gifting me beyond my shabby expectations. And really, can I ever do this: Create a world of satisfaction for myself, rather than receive my happiness as a gift?
In the Bible, the apostle Paul put it like this: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:11-13).
And C.S. Lewis, the great Anglican writer of the last century, said:The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the very nature of the world: but joy, pleasure, and merriment He has scattered broadcast. We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstasy. It is not hard to see why. The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and oppose an obstacle to our return to God. But a few moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bathe or a football match, have no such tendency. Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for Home.
So, in light of these things, the questions that keep bubbling up in my mind these days are: When am I most tempted to “scheme” my way through a situation? And how difficult would it be for me simply to trust God with my happiness today?
Here’s a suggestion: If you are married, consider raising this topic with your spouse this week. Talk about a way you have tried to “engineer” your life in the past. Discuss together how this has affected your relationship. What changes might help?
*****************************************************************************Published July 18, 2007 09:56 pm -
A Wilde Ride
Christian walk intertwines with couple’s professional lives
by John Oxford
MOULTRIE — One’s a writer and the other’s a radio personality, but both Gary and Carol Wilde are working for the Lord.
The Rev. Gary Wilde, pastor of St. John’s Episcopal Church since 2006, said he and Carol have known each other since he moved to the Orlando, Fla., area from Milwaukee as a child. They were married as teen-agers 34 yeras ago before moving to the Chicago area to attend college. The couple lived there for about 20 years before coming to Moultrie.
Gary said he served as the pastor of a Methodist church in the Chicago area for 10 years before working for David C. Cook Publishing. The company was and still is the largest independent publisher of church resources, and he stayed there until 1990 and became a freelance writer. His works have appeared in various Christian publications, and he maintains the work as he edits “The Quiet Hour” devotional.
At the same time, Carol was working as the music director at a Christian radio station, WCRM. She got the job at the station when the program director noticed her Christian T-shirt in October 1981. She stayed at the station for 13 years, leaving after the station was sold and became a rock and roll station.
After a couple days of training, Carol said she was given the Saturday night all-request show. She was at the station as the contemporary Christian music industry was gaining in popularity. She played artists such as Larry Norman, Amy Grant, Second Chapter of Acts, Keith Green, Steve Taylor and Petra.
Any Christian artist who came to the Chicago area for a concert made appearances on the radio station, Carol said. The station sponsored the concert appearances and made several live remote broadcasts at area Christian bookstores.
“It was the best job I’ve ever had in my life,” Carol said. “It was the perfect time and place for all of this to happen.”
As both were in the midst of their careers, Gary said, they attended an Episcopal church service in 1986 and were overwhelmed. He said the Liturgy gave them a connection to the Apostles and the first Christians in Great Britain while still having a sense of modern worship.
“I felt like I’d come home to this style of worshipping God,” Gary said. “Since then I’ve never looked back.”
Feeling like God was calling him to ministry again, Gary said he attended a one-year Anglican studies course at the Nashotah House in Nashotah, Wis. While studying there, he received a call from St. John’s to come down and preach on Palm Sunday last year. He was asked to become the church pastor that day and accepted the position about a week later.
“We love it here,” Carol said. “We love the community and the people here. They are wonderful and very Christ-loving.”
The Wildes hope to change the focus of St. John’s to more outreach now that they have been in Moultrie for about a year, Gary said. One chance for the community to experience a traditional Episcopalian service will be the “Fifth Sunday Community Service.” The service will be held at 7 p.m. Sunday, July 29, and will feature the Rev. Hale Bishop from First Methodist as the speaker.
Gary said the church will also be starting an Alpha program on Wednesday nights beginning on Sept. 5. The program is for anyone who has any questions about the Christian faith or is looking to build their faith in Christ.
Each meeting will consist of a light meal, a talk and then dividing into small groups, according to the Alpha Course Web site, www.alpha.org. The course is designed for those wanting to learn about Christianity, are new to the faith, new to the church or just want to re-learn the basics of Christianity.
Gary said he hopes the community will come and experience an Episcopalian service and see both the old and the new blended together.
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